Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Quick catch up: Ansley- She's had a rough weekend consisting of multiple seizures. We have now doubled her medicine from where she was when leaving the hospital. So we went to the doctor today and the doctor added another medicine. He did give us comfort by telling us the ultimate goal is to stop the seizures all together it's just finding the right medicine or medicines to stop them! Other than the seizures Ansley is developmental great and doing well. Aiden- He is starting to play tee ball so we are all very excited to watch him play this week. He is still acting out but ultimately just misses normality. It's just been a big change not having his daddy Jim and Brandon and I being gone so much! He talks about my dad 20 times a day. He's started dressing in his clothes and pretending to be him. It's so sweet yet so sad to see how much he loved my daddy! I hope I can always help him remembe hw much dad loved him too! Finally me- I'm hanging in! I have my days. Brandon said i talk about my dad alot! But I just miss him soo bad! It's very hard for me to go to Vanderbilt for Ansleys doctor visits or hospital stay. I can't help but think of my dad and that's where I visited him for the last 6 weeks of his life and where he took his last breath. I still haven't walked back into the main hospital, I've stayed on the Children's side. I think of him a lot during my morning runs and find myself either overjoyed or in tears. He was who I went to about anything medical so during everything with Ansley it's been hard not having him. I have to constantly remind myself how happy he is now and how unhappy he was before he passed. I find comfort that he's not hurting anymore! But as far as handling Ansley I've done ALOT better. I don't panic or anything just sit there until she breaths and then hold her. It still breaks my heart every time she has one, I just tolerate them better. So overall we are holding strong to Jesus Christ and seeing that he will get us through!
at 12:03 AM